Roller-Coaster

Yesterday was a hard day for us. The doctor had asked me yesterday if I had anymore questions for her and I said, "I don't like the roller coaster. When can we get off?"

God kept reminding me several times,

"For I know the plans for you declares the Lord. Plans to give you a hope and a future." 

(Jeremiah 29:11) 

AaronMatthew had a hard night the night before last. His respirations were extremely high and he had a fever of 103. So far it's unexplained. Which could mean it might be pain due to the circumcision he got? Or infection? They drew blood and did a cath and got a urine sample. We will get the results in about 36 hours on that. They want to see if bacteria grow on the cultures. They did a X-ray and some fluid is around his lungs too. But it's not pneumonia. They are thinking that is due to the heart defect. The Pediatric Cardiologist came up and talked to me. He did another echocardiogram. He said that it still all looked like the typical AV canal defect (hole in the heart). He said AaronMatthew's fast breathing (which has been going on since almost birth) is not typical of AV canal heart defect. He doesn't know if it's related to the heart or not? He is going to try a test after the fever clears and see if fluid floods his lungs if they cut back on the lasix meds he's getting. If that happens, then it is the heart. He should also be gaining weight and with his breathing fast he is burning too many calories and below his birth weight at 22 days old. He will most likely be on a feeding tube and be fed that way until his surgery because he is exerting himself too much to suck from a bottle. He ordered an ultrasound on his head thinking it could be a vein that is emptying extra blood in the heart and that could be a possible reason for the fast breathing. I should get those results tomorrow morning. If that is the case, we are looking at possible brain surgery as well. He is going to talk to his colleagues next Tuesday at children's hospital in Detroit to present his case for open heart surgery in a few weeks or less instead of waiting a few months.

Right now we are praying our way through, because that's all we can do and be concerned about the moment and not tomorrow or next week because things change sometimes from minute to minute, hour to hour and day to day. We know God has got our baby in His hands. We are trusting in Him to carry us through. It's difficult to see him so sick.

Where would we be without the Creator of the universe to hold us together when we are falling apart? What would I do if I didn't believe that God formed and knit my precious baby together in my womb? How could I have peace which goes by all understanding if I didn't trust that God was in control? Don't get me wrong, I pray and pray and pray some more. And I cry almost everyday, sometimes several times a day- really, and at times I am an emotional wreck to be honest with you, but I know God's got this. He understands what it's like to see His Son suffer. Surely He knows us and our situation. He is acquainted with all of our ways.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers.

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. 

Philippians 4:13

The Birth of AaronMatthew Immanuel Connors

AaronMatthew Immanuel Connors

Born September 3, 2014

3:50 am

6 Pounds 12 Ounces

 For this child I prayed and the LORD has granted me my petition which I asked of Him.

1 Samuel 1:27

For You formed my inward parts; 

You covered me in my mother's womb.

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Psalm 139:13-14

I had talked to my daughter Alyssa a week prior to going into labor. She said that she would love to share a Birthday with her younger brother and that she'd pray for it. (They would be 21 years apart). I told her that I didn't know if I could last another week because I was already dilated to 2 and my cervix was thinning. Besides that, I was so very uncomfortable. 

I decided to take daily trips down to the River Walk in Downtown Detroit and speed walk along the lake shore as I would push my son in a stroller. And then I would end up at the Renaissance Center eating McDonald's for lunch with my son Tres and finish up at the park with him. 

My husband and I went on Tuesday the 2nd of September to an ultrasound and a OB appointment. My OB told me that I could be induced that day if I wished but that he didn't want me to go past the following Tuesday and told me he would be inducing me if I didn't go into labor. We declined that day. 

I dropped my husband off at the church and was going to pick up my son Tres from a friend's house when I got rear-ended! The LORD definitely had His hand of protection over us. It was a hit-and-run. The guy saw that I was pregnant and must have freaked out. My head hurt pretty bad and my shoulder hurt from the seat belt strap. Police and EMS came out and my husband took me to the hospital so I could get monitored. Everything was stable from an OB standpoint. I was so tired and braxton hix contractions were coming more and more. I decided to go home.

Around 10 pm, I went into labor. I layed down for bed. Contractions started coming and they got to about 4 minutes apart. We decided to go to the hospital. We arrived around 12:30 am and had AaronMatthew at 3:50 am on his sister's Birthday.

I was only able to hold AaronMatthew for a literal minute after he was checked out and before he was taken away to the NICU.

The next week was a whirlwind...

AaronMatthew had jaundice and his billiruben levels were up as was his red blood cells which made it difficult to start an IV. 

He was indeed born with the AV Canal Heart Defect (hole in the heart). And Trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome) was confirmed on a blood test that was done on him, 

Unfortunately because of the jaundice, I was not able to hold him much because he was required to be under photo therapy lights.  

And because of the hole in his heart, he is very tired and I could not nurse him either.

I had to leave the hospital without my baby. There is no feeling in the world like leaving your baby and being separated from him. Even in the hospital, I'd cry myself to sleep at night and cry out to God.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:13

AaronMatthew's respiratory rate is higher than normal. It was explained to me as if I were to run a marathon and run two miles and back without stopping and immediately try to slam a soda, I'd choke. Because of my son's heart condition, he is not able to bottle feed much nor nurse. Besides that, he gets too tired out. He is fed through a feeding tube. There was also some fluid around his lungs and the doctor decided to start lasix. 

When AaronMatthew was only a week old, I ended up with an attack of vertigo. I decided to stay home instead of go into the hospital.  I have re-current attacks and expected one since I had my son and knew there would be a drop in hormones, which seems to be a trigger for these attacks for me. It was debilitating and I wasn't able to leave my bed for two days. I am on the up and up from that attack now.

God has been faithful. I don't know what I would do now if it weren't for my faith in God. I don't know how people do it without God? 

I will lift up my eyes to the hills-

from whence comes my help?

My help comes from the LORD,

who made heaven and earth.

Psalm 121:1-2